Life as a Double Three Domino

Next time I see my surgeon I'll have to ask if the medical profession teaches its staff a sense of humor. One which leans heavily to the slapstick

Not that he didn't perform the surgery well. Hell, according to the nurses I'd nearly died twice before the surgery and he literally saved my life. Trouble is now, of course, all I do is die from embarrassment. Life before surgery meant traipsing around the apartment, and the swimming pool, shirtless and oblivious to the barfing noises of the local youngsters. So I was overweight, eh, what's a few pounds between friends huh?

Now, though, even in the dank dark midst of my apartment hibernation, removing my shirt takes a feat of great willpower--simply because some stranger might see.
What is there to see, you ask, that makes such a sight unbearable to behold?

Aside from the scar which glowers red and angry from my breastbone to (almost) my navel, my surgeon made me symmetrical.

Symmetrical you say?

Symmetrical I confirm.

With a grand total not of two, nor four but six, (six I tell you) drains from my pancreas I have six lovely glowering red pits in my stomach--

--you guessed it, three each side of the line.

I keep wondering--when I next visit the Doc--if he'll get all of us, his patients, to take our shirts off and stand us next to each other. Then, with a precision drawn from years of experience, he'll tip over the person at the end and watch as we all tumble down--one after the other in perfect domino style.

Hell, it'd be better than a months' supply of antidepressants...

Anyway, after such soul heartening anecdotes let me lead you into yet another 20 reasons why you don't want to get further into this blog...

Take a peek here

1. Cyberius III - Now an unmitigated success. Not a best seller, but hey being the winner of Ecataromances Best First Romance Ebook for 2005 isn't bad either. not to mention I had over thirty peeps take part in my first contest. Now that's what I call fame :)

2. Alien abductors are now painting themselves black with a white central line and some dots on either side... Could this be some intricate extraterrestrial mating ritual?

3. Poseidon VII - Almost edited to bits, if I see the sucker again after this it's a short, hard trip to the furnace. Burn baby burn! Mwahahaha!

69,077 / 60,000 (115.1%)

4. Cherry blossoms are finally dying off the trees. Another eleven months before we get our white and pink paradise back.

5. Valencius Covers His Tracks - Time to take a bite, Yum.

63,488 / 100,000 (63.5%)

6. Home made bookmarks, bookplates, fridge magnets, flyers and hand sized wooden chests for the BPAL imps to go in. Nobody told me promoting could be so cool. Wheee!

7. Cybernetic squirrels are in. With patience you can give them nuts--before they bolt. :)

8. Huw's Entappthe Whorled - Cogitating.

34,477 / 100,000 (34.5%)

9. Couldn't drink champers to celebrate lj user qnotku and lj user jmward14's book sale due to health reasons. Darn it... there are some disadvantages to getting old. LOL

10. Terras IV -- Will start working on second chapter soon.

11. Red Balloon/Red Dragon, Blue - Pretty much same'o same'o.

3,739 / 100,000 (3.7%)

12. Q:How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Are you sure this shouldn't be future tense--what does the light bulb look like, where does it go...?

13. Swansong - Completely redesigned into a killer nine part stand-alone series of intergalactic doom and apocalypse. getting rather excited about it too.

2,211 / 100,000 (2.2%)

14. Middle eastern state for sale. Oil rich and very friendly. Has a few shiite's and is very Sunni. Neighbours will welcome westerners with open military arms. All offers considered. Apply to that big white house soimewhere in D.C.

15. Here Be Dragons Sci fi romantica novella, dreaming on.

0 / 25,000 (0.0%)

16. Spiders? Spiders? Ain't nothing dangerous about a few damn spid...?

17. Dante I -- Getting close.

18. A Fashion Guide for Romantic Heroesaka The Quirky Eye for the Romantic Guy Zipping up!

825 / 1,000 (82.5%)

19 Love You To Bits A feast of the undead. A comedy romance being brought to you by the devious minds of S.J. Willing and Raine Delight.

2,903 / 80,000 (3.6%)

20. Support the Calorie Free Chocolate day. Let's vote and force the senate to designate one day of each year as the day when candy has no calories. YaY!


One day I promise I'll have the weekly Monday report back to weekly and on Monday's -- until then I'll cya all on the Interwaves.

Byee for now.

S.J.